No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize