Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
