the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
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