OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
