we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
