Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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