This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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