I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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