I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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