im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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