i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
