Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
