No awkward lesbian experiences without me
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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