These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
