What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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