Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
