you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
how does that bad decision feel?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
