yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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