I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
