He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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