did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
