He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
