Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
