We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
