After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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