man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
our cab driver is having phone sex.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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