you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
