I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
