I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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