Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize