real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
