Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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