i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
