She is in my trunk
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
