Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
