toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize