honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
