I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
your like the ambassador to my penis.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
