There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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