I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Randomize
