Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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