I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
