her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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