I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
