Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
