we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
