her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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