last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
