ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
