Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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