if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
