Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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