Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize