I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
