News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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