I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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