you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
