I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I puked a lego.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
