Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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