They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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