You can't special order awesome
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Randomize
