What a fucking waste of an outfit
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
