Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
