I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
did i just pee glitter
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
