I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Found your dick twin last night
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
