I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
