I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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