Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
