Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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