we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
